Fatherhood | Life Cache

Let me set the scene for you: ?It?s early in 2001. ?We had just moved to our new home the October before. ?Leaving one job after eleven years, I had just started a brand new one. ?Our kids were turning 8 and 6 later that year. ?M?s parents took their usual trip down south for one month and her dad did not look well leaving, and worse on their return in early February. ?This led to a visit to the doctor and we soon ?discovered that he had lung cancer that had spread to his bones. ?In the midst of doctor?s appointments and coming to terms with cancer, we discovered the hard way that our son was anaphylactic to pine nuts, a discovery that nearly cost his life. ?By the first days in June, my grandmother, at the age of 100, passed away. With the loving and tireless care of his wife and daughters, my father-in-law too passed away a week later.

My father-in-law had his share of issues. ?I don?t think anyone would have said that he was an ?ideal? dad. ?He had a great deal of difficulty expressing emotion ? ?a character flaw M attributed to losing his own mother at the age of eleven. ? His ?compliments? were more likely to take the form of ?the absence of criticism. ?However, what was very easy to see was that he loved his family fiercely and they were a clear priority to him. ?This he extended easily to his grandkids.

Nine days after M lost her dad, after the funeral service was past, Father?s Day arrived.

I would totally have understood had we let this occasion pass unnoticed. ?Instead, my wife ?gave me this:

While inside M notes the deep sadness she was feeling at the loss of her dad, she also acknowledged to me that my role as a father was so important for our own children and that I was a ?magnificent? dad.

I can honestly sit here today, in early 2012, a father of two ?children? turning 19 and 17 this year, and tell you it was (and continues to be) worth it.

I was by no means an ideal father myself. ?I was not as ?sporty? as I should have been for my son. ?My issues with anxiety at times left the kids uncertain how to ?read? my mood. ?I was as useless as stump where my kids? school life was concerned, outside of helping with ?hands-on? projects. ?But, like my father-in-law, I loved (love) my children deeply and they were (are) my priority.

Unlike my father-in-law, I had (and still have) the benefit of two loving parents. ?My own father has always been my role model for many things: among them selflessness, generosity, kindness, and unconditional abiding love.

All along, I really had simple, yet meaningful goals for fulfilling my role as ?dad?, such as:

• to be actively present in the daily lives of my children
• to teach them that adding good-natured humour to a generous helping of love is like real maple syrup on pancakes ? they just belong together
• to demonstrate for them generosity and a gentleness of spirit, and above all respect, when considering other people
• to show them by example how strong and robust a loving relationship with a life partner can be
• to teach them that, while they are more than acceptable just the way they are, they are also capable of limitless possibilities for self growth and discovery
• to take ownership of one?s own mistakes, how to seek forgiveness and demonstrate humility
• to listen to others without judgement (ok, not too much judgement)
• to be strong for others when they are in need.

This is among the most important efforts in my life. I have crafted a metaphorical sculpture in the lives of each of my kids ? a harsh word here that mutes its beauty, a loving embrace there that brings it to life. ?As I take this moment to examine this role that I have shared passionately with M, I know that to properly honour my dad and the memory of my father-in-law, I will continue to strive to be the best dad I possibly can for as long as I am given the grace to do so.

G

(For M?s perspective watch for her upcoming post, Who Needs a Father Anyway?)

?

Source: http://www.lifecache.ca/2012/02/04/fatherhood/

erin andrews blagojevich sentence mythbusters cannonball uss arizona myth busters tracy mcgrady tracy mcgrady